Yes, be a bloke.. blokes are cool. So far as I see it these days, it’s true, cos they sure have less drama then us girls when it comes to friendship. In fact, when it comes to friends, I think they seem to have the strongest bond ever.
I love my friends - Most of them are just the sweetest of all people, and I am grateful to have so many that lasted for so long. But these days, disappointments just kept piling up. I get annoyed with things, and I start to question my credibility as a friend. Heh.. who am I kiddin.. I question THEIR credibility as friends.
I bickered. And I pointed. But with all the pointing and bickering I did, I realized how pointless all that seemed, cos pointing back were 4 more of my own fingers straight at me.
It dawned on me what my problem is – I expected too much, I appreciated too little. I should try to be a bloke and settle my problems like a man. Maybe being patriarchal at times like this is the best way out. Objectify! Rationalise! And stop using your messed up emotions do the judging for you. Not easy, I tell you. We girls are after all made up of a bundle of nerves.
I decided to seek help. And so, I went online and did my research on how to calm my nerves. I stumbled upon a cool site (no boys, not porn), and I think I sorta found my sullotion. So give me time, I’m workin on it.
I found this interesting article - thot I’d probably share :-
Keep Your Friends—and Your Sanity
Everybody needs friends. But sometimes you may wish you had a little less of the frustration that goes with the package. I know, because I have. Here are some solutions that have helped me—and might help you, too:
For a "phone yacker" friend: Set a limit. When she calls, say, "I only have 10 minutes to talk," then stick to that. For me, it helps to set the oven timer. When it beeps, I know we're at the time limit and I extract myself from the conversation.
For a "complaining about others" friend: Listen for what's behind the complaint. Is it a lack of self-esteem that causes her to put others down? If so, you wouldn't be a genuine friend unless you gently point that out in an appropriate time and place.
For a "woe is me" friend: Listen … unless your friend's problems are continually the same, and she never does anything to change her situation. If so, she, in essence, is asking you to play her therapist. When that's the case, you'll soon become discouraged and not want to talk with her at all. So this may be the time to say firmly, "It sounds as though you're struggling with the same issues. Have you considered professional counseling?" Help her find resources, then back off slightly. If you don't, you'll become part of the problem—enabling her to remain the "victim."
For the "frequent drop-in" friend: Don't always stop what you're doing when she lands at your doorstep. Say, "Hi! I'm in the middle of ironing. Want to grab a diet Coke and join me downstairs? We can talk while I work." By doing so, you're saying, I want to be your friend, but I also need to get something done while you're here. As a woman who's worked outside the home for 17 years, I'd never get any housework done otherwise.
For the "expects a lot of you" friend: Go out for lunch and confront the situation lovingly. Say, "Your friendship's important to me, Pam. But at times I feel you expect too much from me. Because of my schedule, I really can't get together for lunch every week. But I do want to set aside time just for us once a month. When is a good time for you?"
As you use these time–tested strategies, you may lose a few friends. But the friendships you keep will be deeper and more fulfilling.
